I didn't know how to start this post, but I knew I had to write about what I encountered today. I'll start off with that mom asked me to attend a funereal and maybe be the photographer for them. I really didn't want to attend, because it wasn't someone I knew, but mom said that it was her cousin's younger daughter, that she was only 28 years old. So at the last minute I agreed to go, but I hadn't planned on it at all.
Bro came to pick us up and the service was held at Pacific View Memorial Park. As I entered the chapel, I saw a picture of her, but my focus quickly turned to the casket. I believe I was checking if it was open casket, but it wasn't. I took out my camera to snap some pics, and it felt really weird to attend a funereal that I didn't know of the person, and the very thought of being a photographer, sticking my camera in other people's faces especially during this trying moment, I knew it would be very hard for me, since I did lose my job a few days ago. But I guess just do the job you know? I thot it might be easier since I didn't know the person that passed away, so I snapped some pics of the inside chapels, I knew I didn't dare get in front of people and snap their faces, as I made my way to the front, I saw her picture once again, and I noticed her name was Tiffany, last name same as my mom's maiden name. She looked oddly familiar, and then all the sudden this tall Asian male stood up, and he looked even more familiar. Then I realized I knew the girl that was inside the casket. I had met her through another friend, even tho it was minimal contact, I played basketball with her boyfriend/husband before! I froze, and I came back to sit by my bro, whispering to him "I knew of her!" He looked at me, but didn't say anything. After that I didn't take a lot of pictures, I just sat there very silently and observed with the whole congregation. Then I started to retrieve all the details from my memory bank, I knew I met her a maximum of only 2-3 times, I knew she was becoming a dentist at Columbia university and that she was the type of girl, who would captured the whole room's attention upon her entrance upon beaming her sincere smile. I tried to connect the dots, realizing that this person I met through my friend Aaron was actually my very distant relative! It was truly a small world after all, but having to find out this revelation through this type of encounter was truly sad.
She was the model citizen, graduating from UCLA, Columbia University and was a respectable dentist, she was not only smart on the inside but radiated herself with beauty and elegance on the outside as well. I remember thinking that whichever guy ended up with her would be so very lucky. She loved life dearly and shared and showered her love around with the people close and dear to her, at this point I kept wondering how is it, I'm sitting here and how did it all ended up this way. Why am I attending this service?
She had gotten married to her husband, only last year, and this was after they had been going out for 8 years. And this was supposed to be the start of their life. Again I sit here wondering how did this all happen. Her husband came up to remember her, and he talked about how they met and how wonderful and inspiring she was and still is. I have to say it was very emotional, but what I remembered most was that he said about 10 years ago he asked her to be his girlfriend at Las Vegas, and they promised that 10 years later, no matter what, they would both come back to the very spot in front of the Bellagio Water show where he had asked her to be his girlfriend. As he is stumbling on his words on the stand, he said that next year he will be there at the Bellagio water show, exactly 10 years later, and knowing that even though she will not be there, she will be there in spirit with him.
As I sat there, dumbfounded and confused, her sister, her brother-in-law, her close friends all came up to remember her. The whole congregation was in mourning, and grabbed at Kleenex and handkerchief when necessary, I found myself teary eyed. And I thought to myself, if I had died, I didn't want a funereal, or to trouble anyone with anything, but then I realized the funereal wasn't for you anyway, you're dead already, it's for the people around you. I kept on looking at her picture that was on a large frame in front of the casket, I realized it was a wedding portrait and she looked so beautiful, glamorous, and this was probably just taken last year. I kept thinking, was it an accident that caused her death? Some illness?
A lot was going through my mind, she was only 28, so much to live for yet she's gone to another place, she has accomplished so much for such a young age as well, and I left wondering what must've been like for the husband to be feeling, what great loss he must be feeling. I know they met each other in California, but then she went to the east coast for further study in Columbia University. And I was wondering, those years they were apart, it was time they lost, I mean eventually they got married, but those years were still lost to them, well, maybe not lost to them, but it was time they agreed to be apart instead of physically close to each other.
In my own head I wondered about these achievements, do they really mean that much. Achievements means nothing, I mean it means something when it's written on paper, it means something to people who don't really know you. But to people who really know you, yes achievements are great, but they are not the only thing that matters. I say this not to demean anything that she has ever done, but I feel a great loss that I didn't know her better, especially since I just found out today she was a distant relative. My mom and her dad had the same grandfather. I wanted at least to tell her that I was a distant relative, and that my mom actually met her when she was just coming to UCLA from Vancouver.
A lot is going through my head right now, of my future, of this encounter...I'll have some time to think, which might not be a good thing, but I guess I just have to plan what I'll do next...
RIP, TH
