The Cast of Characters:

Allan and Marian, Ann’s brother and sister-in-law are accompanying us in Scotland for two weeks. Ann’s sister, Mary, and brother-in-law, German, were not able to come along due to a last minute illness in the family. While here, we will visit Alistair and Judy on the Isle of Islay located off the west coast of Scotland (our friends for over 30 years), their daughter, Jane and her husband, Ian, living in Lenzie, near Glasgow. In Edinburgh, we will visit with Susie, their twins-pregnant other daughter, but not see her husband Pete who is away on business in London. Jane and Susie came from Scotland to spend summers with us in Bakersfield in 1983 (Jane), 1990 (Susie and Katherine) and again in 1991 (Susie).

We arose in Woodinville, outside Seattle, Washington, at 3:45 am and were out the door at 5:05 am. We boarded the plane after standing in long lines that moved quickly. After landing in Chicago and having lunch at the airport, we faced our first problem. We had been noticing that United Airlines was offering a seat they market as “Economy Plus” which provides five extra inches of legroom. Wow, five whole inches – big deal. Heck, we have been travelling to Europe for over forty years and always purchased Least Class seating since we love cramping legs and the aroma of the unwashed nearby. We have always had a problem with legroom but gotten by with it. It is never enough but we persevere because we are cheap, ok I am cheap. For this international seat, Chicago to London Heathrow, the cost was an extra $89 per person. That is the same as dining in a fantastic multi-star restaurant on our trip. We would rather splurge on a great meal instead of the extra five inches. We passed on this opportunity (scam?).

This was the first mistake of our trip. [I do anticipate many more before we return.] It took getting into our seats to realize where these extra five inches in Economy Extra actually came from – my seat! When we sat down, our knees nearly hit the seat in front of us. Crossing my legs was a major act of contortion. With the seats in front of us reclined, it was almost impossible to get out into the aisle. Never did $89 per person seem like such a small amount of money. Too late now though. It was obvious that United Airlines was in the business of increasing revenue any way imaginable.

The next example of cheapness in United Airlines came with the beverage service. Wine, beer and hard stuff were each $6 a pop. Never before had we ever paid for a glass of wine flying over the Atlantic. That was a shock but understandable. What was not understandable, but what was still a shock, was the meal service. Ravioli and some form of beef were the choices. I have been eating dinner for sixty years so I am somewhat of an authority on this. The food was poor, flavorless and sparse. It took airline food to another level – an even lower level than thought possible. Breakfast was so poor as to be unmentionable.

Ok, so what if my calves are cramping from lack of circulation and my stomach is growling, I am headed to Scotland and France for four weeks. I can handle this. I was not even particularly angry (It is tough economic times for airlines) - until we got on the British Midland Airlines shuttle flight from London Heathrow to Glasgow. There was so much legroom we could have danced a waltz in front of our seats and these were regular economy seats. This flight lasted only 55 minutes, unfortunately, since the one with no legroom that flight lasted eight hours!