Carl 050417.jpg by Carl Zimmermann

Carl Zimmermann | all galleries >> obsolete >> Faces of Chemotherapy > Carl 050417.jpg


17-APR-2005

Carl 050417.jpg

Back home again!

Now I just have to recover my strength - right now, I am incredibly weak. Actually weaker then when I came out of sterile room one year ago.

Nikon D2Hs ,Nikkor 85mm f/1.8D AF
1/500s f/1.8 at 85.0mm iso640 full exif

other sizes: small medium large original auto

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all images are © by Carl Zimmermann

Dr Sreejith Nair		12-Feb-2007 18:15
Dear Carl I am a Medical Oncologist and accidenly stumbled on your site while I was searching the net for data regadring the management of subjects with relapsed Hodgkins disease.The pictures were really thought provoking as few of us ever ventured deep into onesself ,anyway thanks for the tutorial in another dimension.Get well soon .If you want to mail me I would welcome one from you and you can get me at- sreejith.sg@gmail .com Bye and best of luck and get well soon. Dr Sreejith Nair DM Associate Professor Dept of Medical Oncology, Regional Cancer Centre,Trivandrum, Kerala State, India 695004

Guest		21-Apr-2005 16:51
Hello Carl, Thank you for writing. I can tell you that I lost my mother to metastatic breast cancer to the brain on January 7 of this year. I am still trying to get my head around it...Perhaps that is why your fight inspires me so. Anyway, my mother had the most positive attitude outwardly right up to the last days of her life. It was not a fake positive--she enjoyed sharing her story and her plight--but I'm sure many (such as myself) could see the pain underneath. Only in reading her journals after she passed do I now realize the magnitude of the immense pain she endured--physical, emotional and spiritual. I'm sure you face some of these challenges yourself--even I do as I lead a somewhat "normal" life. (Then again, what is "normal?") Enough for now, Get better, Karie

Carl Zimmermann		21-Apr-2005 15:50
Hello Karie, thank you for writing. Yes, I have a very positive attitude towards my life and my sickness, that's true, but I guess that's something that can't be forced. It's just the way I feel and I am. Today, when waiting for an ultrasonic check, I talked to a lady who ensured me she had a perfectly positive attitude towards her sickness, but she told it in way even I (I am not a keen observer of human nature) immediately new she was as unhappy as can be. She was extremly tense and brim-full of self-pity. Once again, I found it very interesting to see how different people handle their fate. And I wondered: why does she not simply say "I hate the way my fate has turned and I hate my sickness and I hate everybody who is in good health"..? - I guess everybody would understand that! Why do people try to suppress negative thoughts...? Well, I do not know, but I guess it's the "shiny happy people" thing, that "I can perfectly manage my life even though it is very hard" attitude, that forces people to fake a positive attitude, even if they do not at all feel like it. Well. I guess that the amount of human suffering in the world is truly limitless. But there is still happiness and peace and joy and all other positive energies. And I guess the amount of these positive energies is as limitless as their negative counterparts. Even though sometimes, that's hard to believe... Best regards, Carl

Karie		20-Apr-2005 16:49
Carl, I keep your story in my "favorites" and check on your status periodically. Know that you are in my thoughts as well as the thoughts of many others. I don't have any idea what you are living through, but do see there is still somewhat of a smile on your face and that inspires me. Be strong and keep the faith, Karie An American living in London

K		20-Apr-2005 08:29
Hey there Carl, I hope you are feeling a little stronger today. It must be so nice to be home to recover :) K