Time Out

Ok, if I get a phone call
after an entry in this thing
checking if I am ok, then
maybe I went too far.
First of all, yes, I am fine.
I was mad, but that is part of life.
There are a whole range of emotions
that people go through in life.
Sometimes through a divorce,
one of them is massive anger.
That anger is healthy to be
directed to the person that
was the other part of the relationship.
Really, it is normal to go through.
I have talked to so many divorced
men who have said the same thing.
Sometimes you can get VERY angry,
and in those times,
do not try to keep it all in.
It will just eat away at you.
So I follow that train of thought.
At first this was just a photo thing.
It was a way to show other people
my photographs, and get feedback
from other photographers on my work.
And by the way, the help they have
given had always been amazing.
However, through my divorce,
this whole thing became something more to me.
It was a place to record my feelings.
It became much more than the pictures.
It became many things to me.
An avenue of expression,
A journal of life,
A photo site showing what I have seen,
And occationally, a fit of anger.
That is what the last entry was.
Right after getting off the phone with my ex,
I used some gel to make my hair crazy,
I then went downstairs near a natural light source,
which is why the lighting looks funky,
and did a forced perspective shot
above my head looking down to give
everything a weird look.
I then went upstairs and wrote all that.
Posted it right away so I could not think.
And now that it is there, I will never delete it.

So, now we come down to brass tacks.
Yes, there are some things that I am very bitter about.
No, I am not actually as crazy as I look in that picture.
The funny part is that there are only 3 people
in the world who actually know what I was talking about.
I put it all under a veil to protect others.
It is similar to the way there is not
a single publicly accessable photo of my ex here.
I don't even call her by name anymore.
However, this blog thing is like a fire hose.
Sometimes it just gushes water,
and sometimes I just gush emotion.
Maybe blog is the wrong word as well.
Maybe it is a journal?
Actually, I don't think the title matters.
It is what it is, and sometimes what it "is" sucks.
Other times there is joy and triumph.
There is a whole host of human emotion here.
But seriously, I'm fine.
In fact, I just had a nice dinner,
and I stopped on the way home to pick up a nice
chat pad for my Xbox controller.
And hey, if you are ever on Xbox live,
my gamer card is "Dave2Fast4U" in there.
Stop on by and I will kick your butt on Burnout Paradise.
I earned my "Burnout License" yesterday and spent the
evening kicking peoples butts, because I actually am 2Fast4U.
Have a good night, and thanks for checking on me.