Day 1336

There is so much to say today.
So many topics to hit on.
So sit down and relax.
Because this is the last photo.
Well, the last one in the New Life Project.
It obviously isn't the end of photography :-)
This all started more than 3.5 years ago.
My wife had just asked for a divorce.
I was sitting in a movie theatre parking lot after.
I had just walked out cause I needed space.
There was such mixed emotion sitting there in my truck.
It was a combination of hurt and relief.
All the emotions running around in my head.
I had a camera in the truck, and snapped the first picture.
I took about 7 shots of myself that day.
And that was the start of this journey.
I posted it and started pouring emotions.
Every one of them is on these pages.
And there are more here today...

Dear Karen,
You are not a "maggit"… You are an "idyit".
I stayed with you for all the wrong reasons.
You left me for all the wrong reasons.
We never could break out of our cycle.
In retrospect I can see it all clearly.
A shame I didn't understand it back then.
Also a shame that you will never understand it.
And seeing this is done I have a question…
Did you even read my email?
As usual, your answer didn't make any sense.
They were questions that deserved answers.
It all showed the inequity I lived with all those years.
I would describe all 3 steps of that cycle, but why?
There is nothing to be gained.
For me, a waste of time…
For you… oh look, a butterfly.
Cat food is on sale.
PS: It isn't all about you. Get a clue.

Dear "Everyone the helped me"…
I can never thank you all enough.
So many people have helped me so much.
And let me tell you what helped the most.
Explaining to me how lost I had been.
I got twisted up like a pretzel during my marriage.
As that unwound people saw it.
My favorite things that were said were these:
"I got my cousin back" and "I got my brother back".
I wish I had perspective during my marriage…
but at least I got a view of it after it.
The encouragement, the shoulders.
Thank you all.

Dear Buffy…
Oh my, what can I say to you.
You have been wonderful.
Meeting you was so lucky for me.
You have taught me the meaning of Christmas.
The trip to Nepal was amazing.
The time we spent with the monks was enlightening.
My third eye basks in your warmth.

Dear Dave
I missed you just like everyone else did.
I am so happy at what you have learned.
What an amazing 3.5 years you have lived.
Peeling back the layers was so hard.
And yet it was so worth it.
I love you.

Dear "Need Relationship Advice"
People don't need relationship advice.
They know it all in their hearts.
When it is wrong, they know it.
So why do you put yourself through the bullshit?
There is someone for everyone.
Eventually you might meet them.
And when you do, it is wonderful.
Sure, you will feel vulnerable as hell,
But the stupid things are not there.
There is nothing like an honest conversation.
Where you don't need to hide your inner soul.
Where you can speak your truth.
If you can't, keep on looking.
Because there is no substitute for it.
Nothing is like it.
And finding it is a fresh wind on a summers day.

This entire project has helped me heal so much.
I am so glad I did this.
I really didn't set out to do this.
It was just a photograph of myself.
I wanted to remember how I felt at that moment.
And the next day, there was another one.
And then a whole summer of photos.
And finally that turned into years.
Thanks for joining me on this ride.
Have a great day… AND A CHEESEBURGER.
Those two things are the best advice I can give.
Enjoy them both.
Take care,
Love Dave