Really? This picture? For 1,576,800 Minutes?

Yup, this is the one I picked this day.
Because this is a special day.
Special to me, and to people I know.
But most of them don't even know it.
You want to know why it is special?
All you have to do is go to the first page.
Have a look, because this makes 3 years!
Three years of the "New Life Project".
As Bruce Willis said in the movie Die Hard
"Welcome to the party Pal"

So yes, 3 years ago today my wife sat me down.
I thought it was going to be a normal discussion.
You know the type if you are married, right?
What did I do wrong now?
I expected the teacher from Charlie Brown to talk.
Wah, wa wah, wah wah wah (remember that voice?).
But it was not the regular reminding me of my faults.
It was the big conversation.
"I don't want to be married anymore"
Now think about that one for a moment.
How does it sound to you?
I actually wonder how long she worked on it?
Was she trying to sound matter of fact?
Of course the words unsaid were the interesting ones.
She left out the words "TO YOU" in the middle.
She may has well of said them, cause I heard them.
Everything said after that sentence hung on them.
And it started such a journey for me.
I went through a lot of "What the fuck?"
Followed by the sting of it all.
But what wonderful roads opened before me.
Although I had fun, the next 5 months were hard.
There is a time of untangling a marriage.
It is not just an instant change for things.
Pulling apart things and feelings is rough.
Feeling betrayed make it hurt a bit more.
It is almost like going though the motions.
Just waiting to feel normal again for a moment.
And then those normal moments start creeping in.
Little morsels of goodness enter back to your life.
And all of a sudden you start living again.
I can look back at the 3 years here and see that.
I can see the little spots, but I can't see the big.
I would say the whole first year was that transition.
Times of ups and downs, the divorce and the life.
It is like a dimmer switch, and it gets brighter.
Then started a bit of dating and some more life.
Sure, I was still a divorced guy, but it hurt less.
Oh, and some wonderful day trips along the way.
I got to know people I already knew.
That sounds strange, but that is what happened.
I got to know them like I never had before.
I felt like a whole new person inside.
Life had wonder and joy like never before.
And then 6 more months went by and it changed.
Right about this time I met Buffy.
You have no idea how frightening that was.
Both amazing and frightening at the same damn time.
She was something different.
I started it, and then I said no, and then I said yes.
What a confused individual I must have seemed.
I was just that normal kind of "divorced" scared.
Mostly because like I said, totally different animal.
I thought I knew about relationships.
I thought I knew about a lot of things really.
I was actually a little unprepared for this though.
There really was a learning curve with her.
I think that was because of me though.
I really didn't know how to do healthy relationships.
Fortunately Buffy is a very caring teacher.
There were no stumbles in it at all.
Just the discomfort of learning new ways.
The rewards from it are just fantastic though.
Relationships without the game playing are great.
I know where we both stand on things.
I don't have to worry about offending her.
That is something I never said when I was married.
I was always walking on eggshells back then.
I have said that my wife never knew me back then.
The truth is I was never all that exposed back then.
It was a constant challenge to keep things afloat.
And once it was gone, I will never walk so lightly.
I don't need to hide myself in relationships.
Really Buffy and my ex are bookends on that lesson.
The ex gave me the view of the bad side of it.
Buffy gave me the sunshine and flower view of it.
And now that I have learned it could I reverse it?
I never could, and I never would.

So what have I learned in these last 1,576,800 minutes?
I think more lessons than I can count.
The original being marriage sucks.
So does divorce for that matter.
Wives totally suck, and girlfriends rock.
Oh, excuse me, that might offend someone ;-)
How bout this, My wife totally sucked, and MY GF rocks.
I learned if you want to do something, try to.
Pain passes, but happiness can last and last.
I just giggled at some happy thoughts from these years.
See what I mean, they can go on and on.
Not everyone is mean, not everyone is nice.
Smile a little along the way, it helps.
Talk to people you don't know, they like that.
Family and friends are what get you through it.
Work as hard as you can, and play just as hard.
Get yourself a fun car if you can.
Take the time to pet your kitty, she likes it.
If you get the chance, step up and try.
Hugs can cure anything that hurts your soul.
Don't forget to give Girly the hairball stuff.
Don't forget to pick up toilet paper in the way home.
A good girlfriend can make life wonderful.
Big changes can lead to amazing things.
Pain really is just temporary.
Check the back of your truck for new stickers.
Show your fanny once in a while.
But there is one lesson that is above them all.
My cousin said it to me, and it is true.
It is the one lesson to take from all this.
Life is for living!

Thus ends my first 1,576,800 minutes of being divorced.
If anyone is still counting,
That would be Day 1095 of the Anguish project.
However, "The Anguish Project" ended years ago.
HAhahaha, just the title of it back then.
Wow, how the world does turn ;-)
Have a great day!

PS: I almost forgot to say:
Yes, it is an old picture.
Many years old actually.
My ex took it.
Hahahahahahaha