I am the lock, I am the key

I was asked a funny question today.
Do I think about what my ex is doing?
It was funny because it came after yesterday.
I had written that I had not written much.
Well, not on that subject anyway.
It had sort of fallen away over time.
When the divorce happened I did think about it.
It was actually all very intense and hard.
I said it that she had a 6 month head start.
The person that leaves always has an advantage.
They knew it was coming, so they should anyway.
I remember thinking about it the first few months.
She was building a new life and I was just a lump.
After about 6 months it seemed to turn around.
I had grown a bit and was not quite so off guard.
I remember what a mess she was at the divorce.
Just sitting there in what looked like anguish.
After that it was all interesting as well.
My divorce lawyer said it would take 18 months.
After that I should feel a bit more normal again.
I agree with that statement more than ever now.
But I noticed that during that time I was not done.
I was pretending to be, but I don't think I was.
Well time, as it does, continued on for me.
It continued right up until that question today.
Do I think about what my ex was doing.
I realized I make assumptions about what she does.
In reality though, I have no idea what she is doing.
I don't know anything about her new life she made.
I know minor details like where she lives.
I know the town that she is in.
I assume I still know the car she drives.
In reality I know less about her than I think.
I actually know more about people I work with.
I DO know that she removed me from her speed dial.
(The stopping of the butt dialing says that)
(well, that or she lost or broke that phone)
I simply don't know anything about her reality.
And that was really when it hit me.
A simple question showed me my state of mind.
It just didn't matter what she was doing.
And right there was when I realized how far I've gone.
What an interesting journey life is.