Letters of pain

This letter contains some pain.
In fact, this letter contains 18 months of pain.
That might even be selling it short.
It does have even more pain than that.
In fact, there is some new pain in it.
That pain is not for me though, but for her.
And if I was totally zen there was no pain in there.
The letter itself is not pain but the contents, oh the contents.
If I had any inclination to doubt myself it would not be sent.
However you can see it here, and 2 seconds later I let go.
It was now in the hands of the post office (I am post post now!).
Nothing in the world could have changed it then.
It was written, sealed and mailed to her.
Will she understand the words I have written?
The cool part is that it does not matter.
I AM zen enough to know at least that part of it.
I really have to admit that I got a lot of closure from this.
The couple of days of confusion and anger were worth it.
I didn't leave many stones unturned in this letter either.
I just went right to it and wrote it.
Even though it will probably never be read again I save one line.
It is the one line that I do care about my ex understanding it.
I share it with everyone here who cares to look upon it:
"There is nothing here for you".
Granted that there are 4 pages of single spaced text,
but I think "There is nothing here for you" says it all.
I can't change or control anyone else's actions over it.
All I could do was write it all out as honest as possible.
Nothing else really mattered as I dropped the letter in.
Driving home from the post office, I knew I did the right thing.
Even if I cause some pain from it.

It has only been a couple days but it feels good to post again.
I actually took a picture I wanted to post but needed this first.
Tomorrow I am free to post the one I like.
Thing A before thing B.