The federal government publishes an enormous book intended to instruct traffic engineers on how to best design and place signs along America's roads. It's called the "Manual of Uniform Traffic Control Devices." Take note of what it's NOT called: it's NOT called the "Manual of Uniform Traffic Signs." No, what we call "signs" others call "traffic control devices," with (in my view, anyway) "control" being the operative word. I don't necessarily object to that control -- I mean, we have to 'control' the hundred million cars zooming around this country, but I find the way we go about doing it pretty interesting.

Take, for example, the Bristow, VA sign that cautions not to pass "when solid line is on your side." Dude, if the solid yellow line is on your side, you'd better move back over squarely into your own lane! "Do not stop on tracks," instructs a Terrell, Texas sign. No kidding! And in Penasco, New Mexico, you are not permitted to remove rocks from the highway right of way. Evidently it's better to just let them lie there and clutter the road.

Here are some more examples. Remember: violators will be prosecuted!