I can thoroughly understand your expression Pops.... quite a serious business you have happening all around you there!
The extreme RHS is most interesting to me.... at our regular 'Scotch Day' we have a wee dram of that very stuff (having collectively purchased a bottle or two between our gang of four).... alas that is 'past tense' I fear because the price has jumped to more than $500... approaching $600 per 700ml.
Ummmm, I shall respond in kind in due course! ~ Regards and Sláinte mhaith!
Melbob