If you meet the expectations of women, you will exceed the expectations of men. Relax, fellas. This is not a personal attack on you, it is actually the guiding principal behind the design of Volvo's new concept car, the YCC. Designed by women for women. I know, I know... it was a cheap shot, and I was willing to stand up for battered men everywhere after hearing that, but it was hard for me to be taken seriously, what with the expensive mineral water shooting out of my nose and all. But hang on, I thought to myself, if you could put all the macho crap to one side for a second, it makes perfect sense to let women design our cars. Right? I mean, they did invent some pretty useful things like, windshield wipers, and even the first roof on a car. Heck, if you really want to get down to it, they can take credit for the mother of all inventions: Original Sin. Top that, Adam!

But cars are the last bastion of manhood! Is there nothing pure and sacred left in this world? Soon they'll be wanting to brew our beer. A sobering thought, yes, but you better get used to it because in the U.S. alone, Volvo was able to figure out that a whopping 54 % of their customers are women. Hardly an audience you would like to shun. So, in the autumn of 2001, they took to the drawing board and put together a core team of 9 very driven women to design a car that would re write the rules of motoring for the next generation of drivers. Surprisingly, (for men at least) they spoke little of the outward appearance and focused their attention on the inside – how very womanish.

Traditionally, men will always ask how fast a car can go and place a premium on how it looks – or makes them look. But then again, majority of them will still also kick the tires as a basis of summarising the last 5 years of research and development based on the sound that the tire emits. Same goes for the obsession with the sound of closing doors. “Sounds solid!”, they'll say, as the pull their stomach in and adjust their pants and give the nod. The car may very well fall apart three blocks away from the dealership, and guys will still be saying, “I don't get it, it passed the most stringent testing methods possible. I kicked the tire, it didn't burst. I closed the door and it gave a 'thud'. What could possibly have gone wrong! It must be a loose spark plug” Women, we've been told, tend to place a premium on smart storage solutions; something that is easy to get in and out of; good visibility; something you can personalise; one with minimal maintenance and above all, it has to be easy to park. When asked what they wanted in a car, however...

Through extensive research down at the salon, the Auto salon, of course, Volvo designers were able to uncover some truly startling facts. For example, the average woman uses her car for everything, therefore it must be extremely practical; also, they discovered that safety is something women are not willing to compromise on; plus, Brad was a total moron for dumping Jennifer, and Angelina's lips must be fake. So, starting with the entry point, they were able to build a Gull-wing style door that opens upward, allowing much better access. They also pushed the B pillar back, for better visibility and unrestricted access to the back seats which, by the way, are designed like a theatre seat so that it always remains up unless its being used. To think that thousands of years of conflict could have been avoided if only they designed toilet seats like that...

When the gull-wing door opens, the drop-down sill below it opens down out of the way, which means you are always presented with a clean surface and you do not need to climb in over it. This also reduces the actual wingspan of the door so it makes it easier to open in tight car parks. Once the infrared key is activated, the ride height automatically adjusts the suspension to Hi mode for door opening, while the driver’s seat moves back automatically and the steering wheel moves upwards, making it that much easier to get in. There is also an automatic heel support that adjusts to whatever type of shoes you are wearing on any given day making it possible to drive around in heels quite comfortably. Matching linen covered foot rest is optional, of course.

Try counting the times you had to run to your car with both hands full of bags only to have to fumble clumsily trying to reach your keys? Then it rains. With the YCC, you simply activate 'Auto-Open' using the key before you pick up your bags, then, when you stand by the rear wheel, the relevant side door will be opened for you. If you go to the back of the car, the tailgate opens instead. I can't help but think of the toilet seat issue again. If you stand in front of the hood, however, nothing happens because the hood is sealed. Closed. As in, it doesn't open. Period. But more on that in a bit.

According to women, smart storage goes far beyond where to put your handbag – today's modern woman comes standard with a mobile phone, a set of keys, a notebook computer, briefcase, sports bag for the gym and an emergency make up kit for those times when you're caught in traffic and you just absolutely have to separate your lashes. Naturally, the best place for keeping all the things you want on hand in the car is between the front seats. But that is where men shoved in a gear lever and a handbrake. So they took it out. The gear levers are now by the steering wheel, while the parking brake is electronic and integrated.

Now that they got that ugly-looking, very phallic gearbox out of the way, it frees up a lot of space for that massive center console. Designed a lot like a kitchen counter – really, I'm not trying to be funny – the natural looking, Scandinavian-wood finished cabinet features a shallow recess for keys, mobile phones, coins and other small items. This compartment slides back to reveal a deeper one, big enough for a handbag, while another compartment takes a notebook computer. There is also a cool box within reach of the driver’s seat too. Finally, there's a wastepaper basket just to rub salt in the wound of O.C. men that never thought of that to begin with.

But once you get moving, this all needs to equate, and an actual driving position and line of vision is very important for both safety and comfort. But just as there are flesh colored band-aids that ingeniously manages to match the skin color of nobody, no two people share exactly the same measurements, which has always left a stiff challenge for designers. In the YCC, the designers combined ergonomics and line of vision adjustment in an 'Ergovision system', which is currently in the process of patenting. Basically, your whole body is scanned at the dealership, then the data on your relative proportions (height, leg length, arm length) is used to define a driving position just for you. This is stored in digital form on your personal key unit. Once you get into the driver’s seat and dock your key on the centre console, the seat, steering wheel, pedals, head restraint and seat belt will all be adjusted automatically to suit your build. The result is a recommended fully personalised driving position with the best line of vision for you.

The exterior design of the car has also been developed specifically to help the driver see better. “The bonnet section has been lowered and the fenders have been deliberately brought into sight. Add to this the fact that the rear window extends right to the extremities of the car and the driver will know exactly where the four corners of the car are,” says Anna Rosén, the designer of the YCC exterior.

But women being women, they will always want the impossible. Just like how they all want a man with the bare-knuckled character of Russel Crowe in Gladiator but with the sensitivity of Oprah, now they wanted a car on the highway but an SUV – or at least something that shares its' ride height with one – when approaching traffic in built up areas. Thankfully, with the YCC, it lets you choose – either Hi, if you like a commanding view of the road, or Lo, for a sportier feel. But the real revolution here is not the adjustable ride height or the 215 horsepower hybrid engine that can deliver full torque instantly, while emitting next to zero emmissions, it's... hold on to your seats... that you can radically change the look of the car interior whenever you feel like it. Whoa! I can see the women pulling the page three inches closer to their face while their mouths open up slightly.

The fastest thing to age in a car is the interior – especially seat fabrics. Also, while market research shows that people want bright vibrant colors, in reality, these rarely sell. It is too risky. When push comes to shove, you ask yourself, “can I live with electric blue seats everyday for the next 5 years? What if I want to sell it?” So Volvo came up with eight interchangeable seat pad insert options to choose from. Sort of like a wardrobe for your car. There's everything from dark brown leather, linen and wool bouclé, to a shimmering yellow-green embroidered seat pad. Each of these has a matching carpet – also easy to swap over – for a whole range of styles inspired by home interior design. Barbie would be proud.

Up until this point, all the men in our group were all smiles and even complimenting the innovations of the two women designers that stood before us. That was until they dropped the bombshell. Apparently, you cannot open the hood. And, to add insult to injury, it was done on purpose. Men couldn't get past this. They need to see the engine, if for no other reason than to know that there is indeed one there. But honestly, as much as I hate to admit it, Volvo is right. What do we need to get in there for? Think about it. With modern cars today, if the common man were to break down on the side of the road, his first reaction is to pop the hood. He has no idea what has just happened, much less how to fix it, but maybe, just maybe, he is expecting to find a note under the hood that says, “Hey! the problem is here, John. Just rub these two wires together and you'll be off in no time. Have a nice day.”

So why, then, Volvo asked, do we have to go through the expense of designing a hood that opens, and making the engine bay aesthetically pleasing, just so someone could look at it and go, “na-hice one, pare...” The only other reason would be to fill up washer fluid, which can now be filled up from the side of the car next to the fuel filler, using two cap-less ball-valve filling points like those used for racing cars beside the door on the driver’s side. One for gas, the other for washer fluid. No more fumbling with filler caps or bonnet latches. And, by keeping everything sealed, crash safety is not as compromised and it is far more pedestrian friendly, too. Plus there's an aerodynamic benefit and a visibility thinggy. And, if you really, really, have to, you can pull the whole front of the car right off and get full 360 degree access to the engine, just like in a racing car. There are far too many logical arguments here to keep going, and besides, I have two theories about arguing with women and neither of them works.

And finally, one of the biggest breakthroughs of all: parking. If the root of all women's problems with men can be traced to the toilet seat etiquette, the same can be said in reverse for men when it comes to women parking their cars. I know of many women that enjoy driving and even some that would whoop my butt on a track, but I've yet to meet a woman that says, “I absolutely love parallel parking. It gives me a high” Volvo stepped in. Using drive by wire technology and parking sensors, the designers were able to come up with a car that parks itself. When you need to park between two other cars, but first want to make sure there will be enough space, you press the parking assistance button once for the space-check function. If the system says yes, you can then select the Autopark function by pressing the same button again. The car will steer you into the parking space, leaving you to control the accelerator, brakes and gearshift.

Naturally, this car is still a concept, and sadly, it will never go into production in this guise. But the ideas generated from this, and the market's reaction to it will determine whether or not we see some, if not all of these features trickling their way into your XC90 or V50 in the near future. I'm sure you can expect the simple stuff like the teflon based paint that repels dirt, or the little recess in the headrest to accommodate your ponytail finding its way soon. Because with women, its always in these little things where loyalty is won or lost. The details. Much like you could have been husband-of-the-year for twenty years in a row, but once you forget to comment on her new hairdo, you're toast. Automotively, these are exciting times. This is a milestone for the whole industry. A car designed by women for women. Expect it to change the landscape of motoring. Now, if they could just figure out the toilet seat thing, then they could probably take over the world.