Over the years I've picked up many titles
One of them is Chief Plate Licker (CPL)
The duty of this office is obvious
And I perform it skillfully at every opportunity
It requires unwavering dedication in the face of stern opposition
Which is to say that The Lady does not sanction this
In fact she quite strongly disapproves
The man also discourages this
Although he provided tacit approval for this strictly documentary photo
Which I think he is posting at considerable personal risk to himself

Baldr~ (CPL, etc)

Note from the man: another of Baldr's many titles is IRC - Incorrigible Resident Canine.
We simply cannot leave plates anywhere within his considerable reach.
In this he is brazen and unrepentant.