BEWARE - CAMERA COLLECTORS DISEASE HIGHLY INFECTIOUS TO ALL AGE GROUPS THE SYMPTOMS 1. The sufferer may become confused, compulsive, bewildered or disoriented when near a camera shop, a camera fair, a camera auction or an antique fair. 2. May be observed wandering around with blank expression, or chanting strange words. e.g. Synchro - Compur, Tessar, Leica, Voigtlander, etc. May be seen counting screw heads in accessory shoes and other camera parts. Others carry clipboards to record serial numbers with great seriousness. 3. Can suffer a rapid rise in heart rate, which can cause palpitations, flushed complexion, irrational excitement, or even incoherency at the sight of a classic camera, especially if the camera is over 100 years old or in truly mint condition. 4. Behaviour may become erratic with much rushing about, excited shouting and waving of arms, especially in the first hour at a camera fair. 5. Foaming at the mouth or unwarranted erratic behaviour is not unusual. 6. Can sometimes be irrationally angry or violent to non-believers or people with alternate, but equally valid, opinions. 7. The sufferer spends much time and money at camera shops, second hand bookshops, magazine shops, antique fairs, auctions, or on on-line auction sites in a worldwide search for items such as a mint eighty-seventh variation of the Edixa SLR. 8. Will snoop on other people’s on-line auction histories to check their sales and acquisitions. 9. Many sufferers are nocturnal. 10. Seems not to notice the presence of normal people, or the passage of time. 11. Money ceases to have value when shown a classic camera. 12. Often known to draw out a short statement into an intense marathon speech in loud tones to attract the attention of others nearby, and will not be interrupted until the final point has been made, or he/she has forgotten what the final point was. 13. The sufferer never has enough cameras, or photographic items, or space to house them. 14. Possession of a non-working camera can cause a severe obsessional need to repair it, or get it repaired by others, after which a feeling of great euphoria may be felt. 15. Household chores like washing up, gardening, washing the car and decorating become too mundane even to contemplate. DO NOT DESPAIR - THIS LIFETIME CONDITION IS NOT FATAL THE TREATMENT 1. The sufferer must be kept well supplied with funds to purchase items of photographic interest. Shortage of money for other items like food, clothing, mortgage, etc., is not an adequate reason not to supply such funds. 2. Should be encouraged to visit camera shops, camera fairs, auctions etc., at every opportunity, both at home and abroad, where he/she can meet other victims of the illness and exchange ideas with them. This is known to relieve the symptoms, in some cases for almost a whole week. Suffers have travelled thousands of miles in international searches for wanted items. Visits to auctions and camera fairs in France, Germany, Japan, Australia and USA can be very soothing to advanced sufferers and should be repeated often. 3. Spouses, relatives and friends can assist a partial recovery by supplying free transport, free beer and meals, additional funds, and indulge in long supportive enthusiastic talks with them on the telephone about camera minutiae. Provision of interesting web site and Ebay auction links can help in the short term. 4. If at an advanced stage, increasingly generous extra funding must be provided. Re-mortgaging the house may be considered a reasonable action to raise the necessary funds. 5. Advanced sufferers will devise ingenious storage strategies for their treasures. On and under stair steps, attics, cellars, under beds and tables, on top of and in the bottom of wardrobes, garages become camera museums, old caravans and sheds in the garden, floor to roof shelving, in and on top of non-used classic cars, multiple rented garages, etc are all likely solutions. Even owning a second home for camera storage is not unknown. No unused space is beyond consideration and the sufferer becomes amazingly adept at vertical stacking and balancing of equipment. 6. In case of emergency distraught spouses, partners and suffering relatives should contact the nearest camera fair organiser, who often provides weekly group therapy camera fairs on Sundays, especially in the Midlands, Lancashire and Yorkshire areas of England. Irregular camera fairs can cause serious withdrawal symptoms, often approaching depression and despair, and fair organisers should be encouraged to hold at least one fair per week, whether profitable to them or not. Author - John Rushton, self - confessed sufferer for over 50 years.