We're hurting today ... way deep inside ...
8 1/2 months ago while residing in Yuma, our neighbor passed away resulting in us adopting a Chihuahua and bringing her back to Canada. The Yuma and Victoria Veterinarians told us she was an older dog of about 12 years or so and subsequent medical examinations confirmed she had serious medical problems ... an enlarged heart ... water on her lungs 'caused by a valve that wasn't operating properly ... cataracts on both eyes and only 1 tooth remaining.
Nevertheless, she became "our" dog and we committed to make her remaining time ... quality time. Little did we realize how strong a bond we would form with her ... and she with us ... we loved her with all our being ... and in turn, "Inky" reciprocated ... she wasn't our dog ... she was part of our family. For 8 1/2 months we provided for her and she brought us joy ... we were inseparable.
Three weeks after returning to Yuma this year, one morning we noticed a major change in Inky ... it came on suddenly and progressed daily ... trips to the Vet resulted in our giving her antibiotics but to no avail. She had very little energy, slept most of the day under a blanket, lost her appetite to the point whereby some days she didn't eat anything ... and at times had great difficulty breathing. The pain she was experiencing internally was reflected in her eyes.
The Vet thought she might be getting infection from previously untreated dental work but cautioned treatment would require surgery and considering her heart condition, "she might not survive the anesthetic".
This went on for 11 or 12 days with both Joyce and I harboring similar thoughts ... but hesitating to vocalize the words.
Today, Inky showed us that one can speak without words ... she told us that she was indeed 'suffering' and taught us the true meaning of the words "pleading eyes" ... she communicated to both Joyce and I that ... "it was time" ...
Arrangements were made by phone then deep in thought deafening silence we drove to the Veterinary Clinic where after saying our final good byes and with assistance from the Veterinarian ... Inky died in my arms while my tears fell upon her body ...
We both deeply loved that little dog ... who showed us how to be better people by cultivating more patience, understanding, empathy and compassion ...
Friends and neighbors tell us that by ending her suffering we did the right thing ... but then why does it continue to hurt so much ... and why do we continue to shed tears ...
