Day three and there is no let up in sight in the struggle against the airborne threat. Despite the imposition of the WBRA, wild birds continue to ignore the perimeter. This correspondent has seen, with his very own eyes, at least two blackbirds, two woodpigeons and sparrows too numerous to count in the vicinity of his own back garden - despite this being well within the exclusion zone. Questions have been asked of the Minister for Unclassified Pathogenic Pestilence and Environmental Threats (MUPPET), Ross Finnie, but unfortunately no-one was able to understand his responses, principally because he was unable to understand the questions. Despite the continued state of alert and the discovery of several more deceased swans, which are believed to have made their way to Fife from the Montrose Basin - a journey that ought to be impossible given that the dying animals in question would have had to have travelled south (when we all know that wild birds are capable only of flying north and east), neither the First Minister nor his deputy were available for comment. A spokesman for the First Minister told reporters that Mr McConnell did not see any reason to leave New York at this time, since public health emergencies were reserved to Westminster. His official press release concludes that: "It's Tony's problem, not mine". In the meantime, staff at the UK government's avian flu testing laboratory, which is conveniently located near France, were desperate to work over the weekend to ensure that samples taken from these animals were tested promptly. Our reporter spoke to one laboratory worker who stated he was pleased to get the job done quickly, because the extra money in overtime payments will mean that he will be able to take his wife on a surprise wedding anniversary weekend break to Barcelona next month afterall. Back at Cellardyke there have been several confirmed sightings of BBC Television and Radio correspondents who are believed to have travelled up from London to present programmes warning people that they should avoid travelling to Cellardyke. The accommodation situation is so bad that at least one BBC reporter has had to hire a helicopter to take her from her hotel in central Edinburgh to Fife each day, from where she has been presenting her report replete with graphics showing the various exclusion zones as well as the location of good restaurants that do not serve poultry portions (or was that paltry - sometimes it is difficult to tell with the BBC English accent). The most significant find of the day was this photograph of the Isle of May and Firth of Forth (above), which was passed to our correspondent by an unknown and distinctly shady looking character who told us he worked for Scotland Yard's Flying Squad - our doubts about his credentials were allayed when he put on a pair of black patent leather driving gloves and a sheepskin coat whilst calling our correspondent 'Guv'ner' as he jumped into a metallic brown Mark II Ford Grenada with bald tyres. This map apparently shows the wild bird base on the Isle of May (which is south of Cellardyke), indicating the location of the various birds' breeding grounds. Of much greater concern, however, is the apparent evidence of wild birds (circled and marked with the letter 'D') flying in a southerly direction - towards Edinburgh and the East Lothian coast (which can be seen in the distance). What is going on? Tomorrow, your intrepid reporter will make his way to Cellardyke in the search for answers. The truth is out there.