I'm not one to gloat, and neither am I prone to outbreaks of smugness... but today I make an exception as on this very evening, Celtic beat Hearts to stretch their lead at the top of the table to 20 points with only six games of the season remaining. In short, that means that, with only 18 points left to play for, Celtic have wrested their crown back from it's temporary home with the Orcs at Castle Greyskull. There even remains the possibility that the Orcs won't even get second place (they are 23 points behind us!)... so for the rest of the season I will be cheering on Hearts (even although I dislike them - the Little Orcs - only slightly less than I dislike the Real Orcs). Hail! Hail! While I was out and about driving around the Angus countryside on this bitter cold day, I got to thinking about some things. Important things like why, oh why is it that there is a growing tendency in these islands to call 4X4 cars SUVs? I know that they are called SUVs in the USA, but why do we need to call them SUVs? What's wrong with calling them 4X4s? (that's 4-by-4s, for people from beyond these shores). Heaven help us, but at this rate we'll soon be sending SMS messages on our cellfones as we head down the sidewalk to the licor store and superstore, where we will load our carts with chips, cookies and candy then place the groceries in the trunk and check under the hood before driving over to the gas station.* Good grief, before we know it, we'll be wearing fanny packs and watching soccer!** There is nothing wrong with British English, we should keep on speaking it. Let the Americans speak American - they're better at it than us! I wonder how far will this emulation of America go? Will we jump off the pier if they do? Will we go to war if they do? Ooops! I think we did!

* ...sending text messages on our mobiles as we walk along the pavement to the off-sales and supermarket, where we will load our trolleys with crisps, biscuits and sweeties then place the messages in the boot and check under the bonnet before driving over to the petrol station.

** ...we'll soon be wearing bum bags and watching football!