Friends, it seems that my invitation to the Royal Wedding was lost in the post! But even if it had arrived, I would have had to turn it down.
You see, I'm just so busy with more important matters! Someone's got to patrol the woods and keep the squ*rrels in order, haven't they?
If you spot any on the trees inside Westminster Abbey though, you let me know and I'll be there in a jiffy!

Dad: Our congratulations to the newlyweds! We were in the Yorkshire village of Helmsley for part of the afternoon, and there were lots
of flags and bunting up around the village. The bell-ringers in the village church marked the occasion with an extra-long bell peal
of the eight bells, lasting between four to four-and-a-half hours without a break. They must have been tired after that, but the bells sounded marvellous!